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par marco rabadan
1

adversarial dawned antagonize confrontation downright

Don't suffer in silence , speak up !

Have you ever found yourself in that position where you are boiling over as a result of what a colleague or a manager has said or done to you ? Here are some tips on how to conduct those difficult situations .

Some of us get in a real funk when we are faced with a difficult situation , don't we ? I'm sure that you have encountered such situations , and it doesn't take a great deal of either work experience or imagination to find one that is either embarrassing or frightening .

My worst nightmare was realized when I had a lovely colleague sit near me . He was a wonderful guy in every way , helpful , kind , easy to talk to , and intelligent . Everything you could ask for in fact , except that he smelled ! By that I mean he had really bad body odor , like he never , ever , took a shower . I tried subtle hints like asking him if he particularly liked garlic and strong cheese . " Absolutely ! " he responded . So , I tried a different tack and gave him some body wash , saying that it was an unwanted gift , but it was of no use at all .

Finally , at the point where I was seriously thinking of changing my job , another colleague approached him and told him directly that he needed to clean up his act ? literally ! There was no , no raised voices , and no adverse reaction . He simply apologized , looked over at me as the realization suddenly on him at what I had been hinting about for some weeks , and asked me , " Why didn't you say something ? " I felt rather stupid and embarrassed and vowed that that was the last time I would avoid a direct conversation .

So , the next time you want to shy away from an awkward conversation , bite the bullet , and exercise that tongue . Don't wait until the problem is acute . If you do , then you are much more likely to be aggressive or , which will immediately the other person . Instead , as my colleague did , address the issue in a calm , matter - of - fact way . It's the tone of voice you might adopt if you had an issue with say . . . the computer , for example .

If you do that , you will discover that it will not only make your professional life a lot more pleasant , but also make the astonishing discovery that most of your colleagues ? and even your boss ? are quite reasonable people ! Most people that work alongside others do not want to annoy or upset their workmates . So if you let them know , in a calm , controlled way that their behavior , personal habits , or general attitude is annoying , you will not come across as a jerk or a fusspot . Instead , they are more likely to calmly give their side of the issue and hopefully , you can come up with a resolution to the problem without resorting to HR or a mediator .

Having spoken with many students over the years , I have had to listen to a fair few whose voices are drowned out by close colleagues shouting down the phone . Rather than tolerating this anti - social behavior , why not talk to the worst offender in a quiet , moderated voice , explaining the difficulty you have ? You may be pleasantly surprised by the reaction .


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