Confessions
of
a
former
____________________
I
think
it
started
when
I
was
in
my
mid
-
twenties
,
after
my
mother
?
s
untimely
death
.
The
____________________
became
a
comfortable
place
for
me
.
It
reminded
me
of
my
mother
,
because
I
had
gone
shopping
with
her
since
I
was
a
____________________
.
I
also
found
I
could
displace
my
depression
and
transfer
it
to
the
product
.
I
could
get
excited
about
seeing
something
,
think
it
would
make
me
____________________
or
change
my
life
,
so
I
?
d
____________________
it
.
If
a
situation
was
difficult
for
me
emotionally
-
say
,
I
was
having
a
bad
day
or
work
wasn
?
t
going
well
or
I
was
feeling
____________________
,
I
would
end
up
running
to
a
store
.
I
?
d
go
into
shops
and
fall
into
a
trance
?
into
this
kind
of
heightened
shopping
experience
.
When
I
felt
empty
inside
,
shopping
was
a
temporary
way
to
feel
full
again
.
It
was
extremely
difficult
to
come
to
terms
with
the
fact
that
my
shopping
____________________
was
basically
a
means
of
running
away
from
something
I
had
to
face
.
I
had
to
get
at
this
from
the
root
.
One
of
the
first
things
I
did
was
acknowledge
the
connection
between
my
shopping
addiction
and
my
grief
over
my
mother
?
s
death
.
I
went
to
a
credit
-
counselling
program
and
eventually
cleared
up
all
my
____________________
card
debt
.
____________________
wasn
?
t
easy
.
When
I
wanted
to
go
shopping
,
I
?
d
try
to
occupy
my
mind
and
my
body
in
other
ways
.
I
would
go
outside
and
take
long
walks
.
The
outdoors
is
a
much
healthier
place
for
me
than
the
____________________
.
Being
more
?
present
?
in
the
shopping
environment
took
a
lot
of
practice
,
patience
,
and
time
,
but
eventually
I
managed
.
I
can
say
honestly
in
the
last
ten
years
I
don
?
t
have
a
shopping
problem
.
I
?
ve
reclaimed
my
power
over
shopping
and
my
____________________
-
____________________
.
